“TOPICS”
Know Your Audience: By Brecka
Who?
Your boss, your children, your friends, your significant others, your parents, your co-workers, your associates, your family, and people you don’t even know ALL require communication adjustments when speaking with them. You don’t change “Who” you are; you change your 1. delivery methods, 2. your intonations, 3. your vocabulary, and 4. your expectancies. This is a very crucial, yet often times “missed,” area of focus. Generously apply focus and awareness to know how and what to say, to whom the occasion is appropriate for.
What?
What ideas and beliefs do you hold true, currently, about communicating with people? If you feel invisible, misunderstood, frustration, avoidance, burden, or indifference-then you’re doing it wrong! What you’re currently doing is communicating with people as if they are you; guess what?, they’re not-no one can EVER be in your brain (really know this), stop acting like people know what’s in your brain. You need to use your words to tell people the messages you want to deliver to them about what you’re thinking and feeling about situations. And again, you must do so appropriately depending on whom you’re speaking with.
Where?
Where does this apply?…EVERYWHERE, and EVERYTIME you speak with people! Get to know your applications: you would speak differently to a professional giving you a job interview, then you would speaking to your friends on the phone, then you would speaking with your Grandmother at the Thanksgiving dinner, then you would to a 3 year old…Think about Where your audience is coming from as well: are they teenagers?, are they learning English?, are they intellectuals, are they hard of hearing? This all matters. You want to send messages to people at a level Where they will be easily able to understand you.
When?
ALL THE TIME-no exceptions!! If you are going to be lazy with your words and lazy with your listening, please just don’t talk to anyone during those times, it’s better for everyone. When you are emotionally charged, keep quiet. When you have gone past the stage of venting and are just chronically a negative Nelly, keep quiet. Otherwise, you must ALWAYS cater to your audience, and speak with them When you know you both are receptive to a proper level of exchange.
Why?
Why do you think a change is necessary? You value your opinion, right?! You want people to understand you and where you’re coming from, right?! You think what you have to say is valid and important, right?! Well then, give people the opportunity to hear you. Why do you have to cater to your audience? Well, you want something, right?! You aren’t just speaking to hear your own voice, right?! So why are you talking with people in ways that you wouldn’t even want to be spoken to? Examples of improper communicating: too loud, too quiet, uninterested, lazy listening, one-sided, no back and forth (if you have talked for more than 5 minutes without the other saying anything you’re doing it wrong), monotone, no eye contact, not asking questions to show interest, repeating things, twisting scenarios, refusing to let go of negativity, not able to see and discuss another’s point of view, missing the point of the conversation. Why do you think a change is necessary?
HOW?
How are you going to honor/respect yourself and how are you going to honor/respect the people you are speaking with? START by paying more attention. Really tune in and appreciate the fact that you are lucky enough to share someone’s time, they will in turn appreciate your conversation-just hold that in the back of your head for now as a tool. SECOND pay attention again. What is an appropriate way to use your language at the time? THIRD more attention needed. Are you listening to other person’s words and inflections? Are they listening and engaged with your conversation or did you “loose” them? FOURTH pay attention to clues. Have you spoken a lot more than them? = one-sided dialog. Are you respecting their time? = remaining in conversation while another is short on time or having to interrupt to end communication = improper behavior. In person, do they look confused? = you need to clarify. FIFTH ask more questions. Ask them what they think about what you’ve said. Ask them questions about what they’ve said. Ask, at that very moment, questions to gain more clarity if you are confused about anything they’ve said. FINALLY use your words. You have to ALWAYS use your words super accurately because this is the ONLY way people can understand what’s in your brain that moment. Take time, correct yourself, reiterate as needed, make sure that EVERY single word that comes out of your mouth is the exact word you want to have coming out of your mouth. Now you have the instructions and the understanding, please help others and yourself feel good about your conversations-because that’s what EVERYONE wants all the time!
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Know Your Audience: By Caroline
Who?
Your “Audience” is anyone and everyone who has the joy of interacting with YOU! Interactions are face to face, over the phone, email, text, voicemail, etc. You are interacting constantly, and our technology keeps us ALL very connected. Your Audience is the bank teller, teacher, neighbors, coworkers, your friends, your children, your family, etc. As you can see, your Audience is incredibly diverse! I’d bet the only thing your son and your coworker have in common, is that they are both in YOUR LIFE :) Knowing WHO you are interacting with is critical to Knowing your Audience.
What?
So What’s the problem? People are NOT understanding you: you feel ignored, disconnected! Your intentions are misread – people hear the opposite of what you mean. This leads you to feel detached, defensive, and hurt. You think, “Why aren’t my feelings/thoughts/ideas being valued? What’s going on??” You have a desire, a need and a right to be understood. If you are feeling misunderstood, the first question you need to ask yourself is: What are my intentions? When you interact with someone, is your intention to merely “express” yourself? Are you using the interaction as a venue for “making a point” or “being right”? Is it your intention to project an image rather than be the image? Are you even aware that you have intentions – because you always have intentions behind every interaction. Become very aware of WHAT your intentions are, because your intentions directly alter WHAT is being heard!
When?
When should you know your Audience? ALL the time! Whenever you want to be accurately understood and Whenever you want to accurately understand, Knowing Your Audience = TRUE CONNECTEDNESS. If there is a moment where you don’t want to do this, go ahead: but be forewarned that if you don’t take the time to Know Your Audience, I guarantee Your Audience will NOT take the time to get to know you! Now is WHEN you make the first step and lead by example. This is the only way it’ll really work best for you and YOUR life.
Where?
Where is your audience? Everywhere! Unless you are hiding in a cave on a remote island, your Audience is always there. At the bus stop, church, at school, work, at home, walking down the street…they are everywhere. Because your Audience is omnipresent, you must take the time to get to know your Audience. You are a one of a kind person with your own individual thoughts, feelings, words, and ideas that can only come from you! And people really do want to hear what a special person like you wants to convey. Take the time for yourself to accurately project and communicate who you are – no matter Where you are.
Why?
Why am I misunderstood? You are misunderstood because you do not understand the person you are talking to. YOU are a unique person, and your Audience is comprised unique people! Let’s break it down with an example: You and your dear great Aunt Dorothy are at the local Walmart purchasing hard candy (Aunt Dorothy’s choice, probably not yours 
). The two of you get in line at the checkout and the cashier, who looks to be in high school, rings up your purchase. In an attempt to interact with the cashier, Aunt Dorothy tells an old fashioned joke containing the words “23 skidoo”…yeah, I don’t get it either. Unsurprisingly, Aunt Dorothy’s joke fell flat – really flat. Aunt Dorothy’s joke was a “conversation ender” because the cashier had no response to something she did not understand. Why would Aunt Dorothy tell a joke that the cashier didn’t understand? Aunt Dorothy had good intent, but intent alone means nothing without understanding the uniqueness of the person you are talking to.
HOW?
How do I get to know my audience? As outlined above, it can be broken down to a very easy 2 step formula: Intent + Understanding = Knowing Your Audience! See kids, it is really that easy. In revisiting the above example of Aunt Dorothy, her intent was to make the cashier laugh. However, Aunt Dorothy’s intention was not carried out because she did not understand her audience. Being aware of your intent and understanding the individual you are interacting with will have you communicating in a manner that empowers and truly connects! HOW awesome!
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