“New Rules”
1. YOU MUST: Ask permission to give advice and contrary opinions
When people are speaking with you about: decisions they have to make, problems in their world, things they are excited about, and/or how they’re feeling about something, Don’t interrupt with your “great” solutions or ideas. These people are just telling you what’s on their mind. They don’t necessarily want/need to know what’s on your mind with regards to them. Politely and patiently, ask them if they would like some advice/help/other opinions/devil’s advocacy, etc. You will then be showing them: you care about them and what they are saying, you support them, you acknowledge them and their situations, and you are a great friend/parent/child/co-worker, etc. In the end, they will WANT to come back to you for other conversations, and will feel good about having you in their life.
2. YOU MUST: Do the majority of your communicating with your ears
There’s a reason why you have two ears and one mouth! People hate one-sided, boring, and/or monotone conversations. Listen to what people are saying and take into account where they are coming from.
3. YOU MUST NOT: Assume!!!
Never, ever assume you know what someone is thinking or feeling. It’s bad for EVERYONE!!!
When you assume you:
1. Stop listening to What people actually want and prefer.
2. Make decisions for others regardless of What they want.
3. Stop the connection from flowing by taking over people’s lives.
4. May be starting to end a relationship.
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